You Harden There!

There was this Pinay named Maria who was born and raised in OlongapoCity. She met her husband, John, while he was stationed at Subic Bay Naval Base. Maria doesn’t have an excellent command of the English language, but she and John manage to communicate.

One day, Maria decided to cook a big dinner for John, so she called John up at work and told him to come home straight from work. John and his co-workers had been working long hours trying to finish up a project their admiral had assigned weeks ago, so they were excited to finally finish it. They decided to go to the ship’s chow hall to celebrate.

When John came home around midnight, he realized he forgot about the dinner that

Maria had made for him. As Maria came out of the kitchen, John began to explain.

“Honey, I’m really sorry. The guys decided to celebrate a little bit, so we ended up eating at the ship.”

“Ah, like that, ha? I cook the house for you, you eat the ship!”

“Honey, I’m really sorry,” begged John.

“Ahh! Don’t sorry to me! From now, you do your do, I do my do! You harden there!”
(Tagalog translation: Ah, ganon ha? Pinagluto kita dito sa bahay, kumain ka naman sa barko! Mula ngayon, gawin mo ang gusto mong gawin, gagawin ko ang gusto kong gawin! MANIGAS KA DIYAN!)

So there, my friends, is Maria’s story. If you didn’t find it as funny, oh well… YOU HARDEN THERE!

Paint Dot Net Tutorials

Title: Photo Sketch
Software Used/Version: Paint.Net v3.35
Difficulty: Beginner
Tut Type: Image Effects

How To Stay Married Forever

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. “What a peaceful & loving couple”. The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s once.”

“We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, “That’s twice.”

We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, “What ’s wrong with you, woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy?”

She looked at me, and quietly said, “That’s once.”

“And from that moment… we have lived happily ever after.”

Stone Font Effect

Title: Stone Font Effect
Software Used/Version: Paint.Net v3.35
Difficulty: Beginner
Tut Type: Font Effects

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